I just stated my boundaries…thank god now I know what is going on after such a long leap of silence…these few months are named as the "grinders" as they help me to figure out myself my options my situation my limitation my fear and most important dear ones..I concluded that my past was quite a teacher as well as my years of castle queen cream to me.. really due to the transition in my life I change my values my belief and urging the focus on my trusting meter range…really trusting is worth a thing to occupy and the difficult part is to maintain it… I thought that if you trust a person then he has full right to know you and contain the privilege of hurt you …being a person who is very cautious on trusting people I feel like losing a grip on my quality and strength from the past few months…It is really sometimes important to talk and to introspect yourself so that you can get a answers of very like very big problems..
I really woo…but it all failed than I initiate PLAN B…as plan A is concerned about introspection by knowing myself and to keep on judging my position and investigation the places and the possibilities…
But plan b is observations. It is concerned about people who are related to me...mean a lot..and the people due to which a fall under the unbearable circumstances…it generally take very long time to review and understand as it’s not about me it’s about others who are concern important and can be hurt by me..So to backup myself and to protect them I gulf the portion of “deep silence” in leman stay silent like a dead body..no needs no demand no fun no life just lifeless…but u know it hurt others as I become someone I m not and it disturb them..but can’t help it pals…this phase is not easy as it sound….you have give something to receive an answer and usually in this phase I become desperate for my solution sometimes I misunderstand or feel sorry or alone or unworthy or neglected… basically it like nervous breakdown…long lost in the island of dilemma….
Then finally during the recovery session of this phase I came across the solution…and expected it torn me…I feel unworthy, stupid, alone and most importantly the feeling of betrayal arise… so after going through all this stress I found a corner as my life support system..and that is to be occupied by other stuff that I need not to peek in that pothole of betrayal…this decision is for my own good…so that all those left months won’t be a unbearable corny sabotage and misery one…I confirm to relent… as unity make strength and that I already lacking behind so better to bind hand then to stay away isolated and deserted….but now I know that life is beautiful but it takes efforts to make it so…nothing can be perfect and expected..no one can understand what you need you have to shout and play for it…you have to earn respect…so life isn’t easy but you can make it beautiful by moving forward….and I make a step and move forward…but keeping my mistakes and the loopholes so to confront the upcoming tear and burn…
Till then stay alive and get the best from your life….life is worth to learn from……
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